Should I Elope or Have A Big Wedding?

Elopement Tips

July 14, 2026

Trying to decide between eloping and a traditional wedding? Here’s an honest look at both, from a photographer who’s shot both — including what it’s really like to elope in Italy.

It’s one of the first questions I get asked once a couple gets engaged: should we elope, or have the big wedding?

I’ve photographed both elopements and weddings. I’ve stood in the back of a two-hundred-person reception watching a couple glow under string lights, and I’ve stood alone with a couple on a ridge in the Dolomites at 6 a.m., no one else around for miles. Both are real weddings. Both are right for someone. The honest answer is that it depends less on what a wedding should look like, and more on how you want that day to feel.

What a Big Wedding Gives You

There’s a reason traditional weddings have stuck around. If you’ve always pictured your whole family in one room — your grandmother crying during the first dance, your college roommates crowding the dance floor at midnight — that image matters, and it’s worth protecting.

A bigger wedding tends to be the right fit if:

You’ve always pictured a classic wedding day, guest list and all
Having your extended family and friends there in person matters more to you than an intimate setting would
You genuinely enjoy the planning — the details, the vendors, building the day piece by piece

It’s also fair to say what a big wedding costs you: less time with just each other, a tighter schedule, and the quiet pressure of making sure two hundred people are having a good time on what’s supposed to be your day. I’ve shot weddings where the couple told me afterward that the day flew by in a blur of hellos. That’s not a failure of the wedding — it’s just the trade-off of that format.

What Eloping Actually Looks Like Now

Eloping isn’t the courthouse-and-two-witnesses idea it used to be. The elopements I photograph now are entirely designed around the couple — no timeline built around anyone else’s expectations, no receiving line.

One of my favorite elopements was a young couple who didn’t want a big production — just something small and meaningful, somewhere that felt like it belonged only to them. We started in the evening with quiet getting-ready portraits at Camp Sass, more honeymoon than wedding morning, easy and unhurried.

Couple getting ready for their elopement at Camp Sass, Italy

The next day we were up before the sun, making our way to Lago di Braies while the lake was still and empty. They said their vows on the boat dock, just the two of them and me a few steps back with my camera, the mountains still half in shadow. Afterward, they climbed into a canoe and paddled out onto the water, and I remember thinking that no reception hall could have given them that — the whole lake to themselves, ringed by peaks, nobody else awake yet to see it but us.

Couple who chose to elope instead of a big wedding, getting ready at Camp Sass, Italy

Couple in a canoe on Lago di Braies surrounded by the Dolomites

Elopement portraits at Lago di Braies, Italy, at sunrise

Eloping Doesn’t Mean Doing It Alone

The biggest misconception I hear is that eloping means shutting people out. It doesn’t have to.

Some couples I’ve photographed brought their parents for a small, private ceremony, then spent the rest of the day just the two of them. Others had a welcome dinner with family the night before, then flew off for the actual wedding day alone. Some plan a reception back home afterward, so everyone still gets their celebration. There’s no single template — the couple decides who’s there and when.

The Real Question Isn’t What — It’s How You Want to Feel

Instead of asking what your wedding should look like, ask how you want it to feel when you look back on it in twenty years.

Do you want the memory of a packed room, full of the people who’ve supported your relationship for years? Or do you want the memory of standing somewhere quiet as the sun comes up, with nothing to do but read your vows to each other and mean them?

Neither answer is more “real” than the other. I’ve watched both kinds of couples cry on their wedding day for exactly the same reason — because it finally felt like theirs.

A Few Questions to Help You Decide

If you’re still torn, sit down together and talk through these:

Are we building this day for us, or for everyone else?
What will we actually remember in twenty years — the room full of people, or the quiet moment before anyone else arrived?
Would we rather spend our budget on one unforgettable experience, or one unforgettable party?
Where do the two of us feel most like ourselves?

There’s No Wrong Answer Here — Just an Honest One

If you’re still weighing whether to elope or have a big wedding, that’s okay. Couples I’ve photographed who chose the big wedding don’t regret it, and neither do the ones who eloped. The only regret I ever hear is from couples who planned a day that wasn’t really theirs — built around what they thought a wedding was supposed to look like instead of what they actually wanted.

If you’re leaning toward something intimate and experience-driven in Italy, I’d love to talk it through with you. Click Here to start the conversation.

Bonus: Why Couples Choose Italy When They Elope

For the couples who land on eloping, Italy comes up more than almost anywhere else — and I understand why every time I’m there with a camera in my hand. The scale of the Dolomites, which makes two people look impossibly small and impossibly sure of each other at the same time.

Common questions couples ask me about eloping in Italy:

Do you need a permit to elope in the Dolomites or other national parks in Italy?

Yes, most locations require a permit, and requirements vary by region — this is something I help couples navigate directly.

How much does it typically cost to elope in Italy?

It varies widely depending on location, season, and whether you’re adding extras like a helicopter flight or a private dinner, but it’s often more affordable than people expect once they compare it to a full wedding budget.

What’s the best time of year to elope in Italy?

Shoulder seasons — late spring and early fall — tend to offer the best light and weather without peak summer crowds.

Danielle Higgins